Guess what... Mike made himself known last night. OMG, I couldn't believe it. I woke up in the middle of the night (potty of course), and as I looked down at his comforter, I could actually see him there. It may have been an illusion, but it was a wonderful one. He was laying like he always did... on his side with his front legs a little bent and his back legs straight out with his tail down by his legs. He had his belly band on and it had slipped a bit down his back (like it always did while getting comfortable). It was so real looking that I actually reached down to pet him, but of course, I only got the comforter. Embarrassed to say that (I'm not normally like this but) being a doubting Thomas, I turned the light on... I just saw the comforter. But...after going to the bathroom and coming back in the bedroom with the lights out... I could still see him. OMG... what a beautiful sight. How wonderful if he was really there, and if I could really pet him. After I went back to bed, I looked again, expecting him to be gone... still there. I know animals have made their way back to they're family after death, but I kind of think if Mike was really there, he wouldn't have had the belly band on... after all, he's running free without it now, and I'm sure he's very happy to be free of it. My mind has only seen him with the band on for so long, that this would be the way I would envision him. Well.. whatever... vision or imagination.. it was wonderful.

This morning Gidget went to look for him again. It's just so sad watching her. Last night and again this morning she just broke my heart. I looked to see where she was and found her laying on the arm of the couch by the wall where she use to lay to watch Mike sleep in his corner behind the couch. (This is not the same side she normally lays to look out the window or door). That was the first time I had seen her on that side since he's been gone. Maybe she could see his spirit there... maybe not... she looked so sad. She went to wake him up again this morning too. She's having as bad of a time as I am. She's very subdued this morning. I'm giving her as much attention as she wants, but unlike any other day... she doesn't seem to want attention like she normally does (which is all the time). That doesn't stop me from cuddling with her though.

Last night I tried letting her sleep with me instead of in her room. What a joke that was. She doesn't seem to get the concept of sleeping in the bed. Her idea of "sleeping" was to walk around the bed, come up to my head and lick my face. I got her to lay down a few times, but she got right back up and sniffed and licked and did everything but lay there and cuddle with me. Then she'd jump off the bed and back on again.... hmmmmmmm.... Finally, she got off the bed and barked to go out. I let her out, and when we came back in, she went right to her room. So much for cuddling. I really wanted to cuddle with her last night, because (even though Mike slept on the floor next to me) it's really been lonely in that bedroom at night. Maybe that's why I saw (or thought I saw) him last night... to ease the loneliness.

There's not enough work today for me to go in to work, so I'm going to try to get this house cleaned up a little. I haven't done a thing since Mike left. The laundry needs to be finished, the table and counters are full of everything I didn't have the energy (or care) to put away, there is still a small stain on the bedroom carpet where I believe Mike might have vomited a little in his sleep the night before he left, and so many other things to do. I could have done all these things yesterday, but I had absolutely no energy at all. I don't have much energy now, but I have to force myself to do "something". It was an effort last night to even shower... but somehow that was the only I managed to get done.

I have to tell you all. It's been so wonderful to have all the support all of you have given me. E-mails, phone calls, postings... my son has called me every day since Mike went Home. He and Rebecca lost Bailey not too long ago, and he (they) know exactly what I'm going through. Bailey was a 17 year old Basset who was their baby (and my only Granddaughter). They had her since she was a tiny puppy. It's just so hard losing one you love... especially since they've been your life for so long.

Thank you all so very much.

God Bless You All