It's taken me a couple of days, but I'm back. First I want to thank you all for your tolerating me and my last post. It was just a very stressful day to start with and then the emotions of Debbie losing Jack took over. Thanks for being my friends and understanding.

Things are settling down around here. I still miss Mike horribly and expect to see him sitting next to me or sleeping next to the bed every morning, but the reality is that it's just not happening anymore, and I'm learning to live with it. Gidget still goes into the bedroom every morning to look for him, but she doesn't stay in there and search for him like she use to. I feel so bad for her, but then again, I knew she would miss him, and I was right.

She's really grown up since Mike's been gone. She's realized she can lay down during the day and doesn't constantly have to be moving or bugging me to go out every time she gets bored. I've started leaving her lose in the house (don't know if I mentioned that or not before, if I did, please forgive me), and she's done 100% great.

The first couple of times I left her lose, I turned on the web cam and aimed it toward the corner of the couch where she stands on the arm to look out. I don't know what I expected, but that's all she did... look outside and then sleep. I was really glad I had the puppy-cam going the second time I left her alone. When I went to the conference, I didn't get home until 11:30. She was home alone for 7 1/2 hours. I came home and couldn't find Gidget. I looked all over and couldn't figure out where she could have gone. Well, then I saw the laundry room door was closed. I had left it open because I knew I'd be gone awhile, and I figured if she really had to pee, she'd go in there (and it's easier to clean in there than in the kitchen). Apparently, she had gone in there and somehow the door closed on her. I opened the door, and here this little head is sticking out of the door with her eyes looking up at me like "what the heck happened... why am I in here?". It was comical, but not... I felt so bad for her. When I went back to the video (which had run for 6 1/2 hours before taking up all the memory in the computer), I found that she had left the couch at 7:30 and never came back. I could hear her barking from in there, but of course, no one was here to save her (guess that proves that if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it... it really "does" make a sound). That poor little girl was in there for four hours by herself... and yes, she did pee, but part of that could have been from being afraid to stay in there too. She was afraid to go back in there without me for a couple of days... can't say that I blame her.

As far as me... I'm doing ok. I'm still having major bouts of fatigue. It's not like being tired... it's more like the fatigue I felt while having chemo, and it pretty much renders you powerless to do anything at all. I don't feel tired or have to sleep, just very weak. I had blood work taken yesterday, and I'm just praying they could find something in it that is fixable. I can't go on like this. Plus my legs cramp really bad even just walking to the back of the property, so I am getting absolutely no exercise (not that I exercise, but every step helps).

I've taking Gidget to my brother's house a couple of times. He has a big fenced in yard, a Golden-Doodle and a tiny Papillon puppy. Gidge LOVES going there... such freedom and friends to play with. It's so funny... after Gidget and Mikey (the doodle) finish running around and wear themselves out, Chloe (the Pappillon) gets her turn at Gidget and starts batting at her face and jumping on her and giving her whisker kisses... it's almost like watching what Gidget use to do to Mike... I miss that.

Well, off to work. I pray everyone is having a good week. Take care of yourselves and know I love you all.

Love & Blessings,
Joanna, (Angel) Mike & Gidget