I went to the conference Friday and Saturday night and then was busy all day yesterday, so I planned on catching you all up on how well Gidget did during her time alone (except when she locked herself in the laundry room for 3 1/2 hours).... but... all that will have to wait for another day.

Something has come up, and I'm having a very hard time with it. Most of you know Debbie and Jack. Jack is the most beautiful white Siberian Husky who we rallied for and received donations enough to have an experimental surgery for him due to nasal cancer last year. Everyone was wonderful and rallied around with love, support, prayers and donations enough to get him the experimental surgery and give him an extra year of life.

Well... Debbie called me this morning. She was on her way to Columbia, MO from her home in St. Joe's to take Jack back to the clinic where he had the surgery. The last few weeks, Jack has been following in Mike's footsteps... good days and bad days, and then mostly bad days (weak, lethargic, sleeping alot). He's still had blood spurting from his nose (probably damaged from all the radiation), but that wasn't the main issue. Well, last night, Jack went blind. That along with all the other symptoms, Debbie and the vet both agreed, that it's time for Jack to leave for the Rainbow Bridge.

My heart is breaking right now, and I'm re-living April 16th, the day Mike had to leave me. Jack is leaving for the Bridge today, and I just can't help but think about Debbie and knowing what she's going through. I mean... anytime one of us loses our loved ones, it's so hard, heartbreaking and the unbelievable reality that they won't be with us any longer is absolutely crushing.

I cry every time one of our friends here leave us. But I'm thinking this has hit me extremely hard, since Debbie and I are so much like sisters.

I swear... she and I have parallel lives... same birthday, same white dogs with cancer, both dogs got sick August of 07, both of us becoming part of IMOM within a week of each other in October, both of us being blessed with our boys for about a year and a half more than we probably should hve, both with our babies for 3 1/2 hours alone together before it's "time" (her driving in the car with him for that amount of time and me on the floor with Mike for that same amount of time until the vet came)... and now... even the same last meal for our boys... she had just stopped and bought him two cheeseburgers on the way to Columbia in his final journey with her... and (like Mike when my daughter brought Mike two cheeseburgers that day) he ate the burgers but didn't eat the bread.... I managed to hold back the tears till we hung up... then they started and haven't stopped since.

I'm sorry... I don't mean to complain. I mean, I've actually been doing fairly well (well, as good as I could hope for anyway) since Mike's been gone. I somehow managed to stopped crying 4 days after Mike was gone... as long as I didn't read the poems, I was ok... even holding his collar and touching his hair..it just comforted me... but now.. I'm re-living that day all over again.

I feel so bad for Debbie and what she's going through, and will be going through, and right now, I feel so selfish because all I am doing is having flashbacks of my baby laying on my bed at the end.

I probably should just delete this and "get over it", but I know you are all my friends and understand. I also know that Debbie is my friend and knows how much I love her and Jack and that nothing I am feeling about my last moments with Mike will take away from my feelings for the two of them.

I'm going to try to put a link on here for Jack's Blog. His entire history of what as going on and how much you all have done for him and meant to so may is on here. I'm really hoping this links works. If it doesn't, please copy and paste it to your address bar, and it should take you right to Jack's blog.

http://jack-thekingofhearts-needsyourhelp.blogspot.com/

Please pray for Debbie and Jack. He is her Heart Dog like Mike is mine.

WE LOVE YOU BIG JACK!!!! You're buddy Mike is up there waiting for you, and you will finally get to meet. I can see you now... our two White Shadows running and playing together. I miss my Mike so much... please take care of him (he's smaller than you, you know). Run, chase squirrels, chase each other and enjoy your new found youth and health together. Your Mommy and I will see both of you someday. BE FREE BOYS!!! WE LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH!