I just can't help it... I'm having the hardest time the past few days... I miss Mike so much that I have to fight the tears away at times. I thought this was suppose to pass!! It seems like everything I do, see, read and hear somehow puts a thought of my baby in my mind, and it just doesn't feel right to not have him here with me. It feels (again) like someone ripped a huge hole in my heart and tore it out... a hole only he could fill... and yet, he's not here to fill it.
I know, I know... he's here in spirit... but I want him here in the flesh. I know I'll get over this (again), but right now, it's just very hard to live with the emptiness.
Gidget is doing fine. I'm so thankful that she's alive and well. When I came so close to losing her, I realized how much (even with all the complaining I've done about her) I really do love her and need her in my life. I mean, I already knew I loved her... I guess I just didn't know how much. She just seemed so little and helpless when she was sick, that my heart poured out to her more than ever. I just knew that I couldn't lose her... especially not so soon after losing Mike. The thought of losing her really took a tole on me, but thank God that's over now.
I really had a miracle happen yesterday. In the area I live in, we have to have an E-Check (emissions check) before getting our plates. Well... I knew my car wouldn't pass because it needed a repair that was going to be almost $300, and without the repair and passing E-Check, I wouldn't be able to get my plates next month, so I'd be without a car.
Well...... yesterday morning, I was writing in my journal and posting all my financial woes. But then I decided that if I can't do anything about it to let God take care of it. I wrote something like, "I know God will help me out... He always supplies my needs". Wellllllll.....
.....I called my mechanic yesterday morning and asked him, "If I give you $50, could you fix my car and hold paper for me?" He's done this in the past and taken post dated checks for as long as 4 months. He told me he would check on the part and call me back. I had gotten paid Saturday (not a big check, but enough for essentials), and since I hadn't had any "real" food in the house for quite some time, I went to Aldi's (cheaper than regular grocery stores) and bought a lot of food for only $70. I was careful not to spend the $50 I was going to give Joe. When I got home (actually almost the minute I got home), the phone rang and Joe said, "your part is here... it will take about fifteen minutes to put in." And then he said... "It will be $75"......... oh my gosh... my heart almost stopped... from $300 to $75???? He said he got a used part that was as good as new. I was so excited, but now I was wondering if I had the $75. When I went to my checkbook and deducted what I had spent at Aldi's ... I had exactly $75.04 in my account... enough to pay for the car. How Awesome is our God!!!! Soooooooooo... I went up there, he fixed it... went for the E-Check... it passed, and now (next month) I will be able to get my plates.
I'll be completely broke for the next two weeks (till my next paycheck or Social Security kicks in), but my car is fixed, and I have food in the house. Just can't ask for more now can I? LOL
Sooooo my friends, that's my testimony for the day!!! I am so excited and so blessed that I couldn't help but share that with all of you.
I'm going to try to get to IMOM and check on you guys before I go to work, but I've got to grab a shower first, so if I don't get there till later this afternoon or evening, please forgive me.
Sending loads of love and blessings to all of you!!!