Editing This Morning's Post

I'm editing the post below with an update. It seems like today has been a day I really want to forget. I don't think I've ever felt so defeated in my life (well, maybe when I was suffering from clinical depression... but that was a hundred years ago). I KNOW I'm not alone, and God will pull me out of this, but the decisions I've had to make today have really taken a toll on me.

I've decided that since there is no way I can possibly afford everything Gidget needs, I'm going to at least get the ultrasound done ($400 - $500). I know I can't afford a biopsy, so I'm praying this will at least show a diagnosis that we can deal with without surgery or extended meds. I just want her to be ok. Sandra (JoAnne's sister) will be driving us to Akron on Wednesday morning. I honestly don't know what I'd do without those two. The clinic that is close by gave me a price of $450 to $900... JUST FOR THE ULTRASOUND!! And that's not even a specialty clinic. I just can't figure this all out. What a racket. And then there's JoAnne who barely charges enough for her services to get by on. (Did I tell you, when Gidge had fluids at the "vet" who took her x-rays, they charged $31... JoAnne, for the same fluids, charges only $5.60... what an amazing lady she is).

I do feel a bit better now though since I've made the decision as to what to do, but I'm still nervous about the result and having to pay the balance of what the pet insurance doesn't pick up (please pray it's not considered genetic so they pay it... I hate exclusions). Also kind of nervous about the balance I'm going to have to pay on my MRI... I still haven't gotten the bill from the one I had last month for my back.

Stress... what a horrible thing, but I know so many of you have so many more problems than I do, and yet you all manage to keep going. I'm sure I'll get through this... "I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me"... it's just getting through this day today that's tough. I'll be ok.

Thanks for listening.
Love You All

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I have to go to work, so this will be just a quick note. I just got back from the ear doctor.. my ear is getting worse... oh joy... so now yet another MRI. I swear I've had so many MRI's and CT's that if I put my head or body in the machine, it will just turn on by itself.

But... now I have a bigger problem than that. The big specialty clinic charges $800 for ultrasound/biopsy. The one closer to home is (wait till you hear this) $1400. Can't believe the difference. However, at this point, anything might as well be a million. I've only got $1000 in Care Credit and have already used up $200 of it (not including what JoAnne's bill will be... she says don't worry about it, but I worry about it). Anyway.. it seems I might not even have enough available on Care Credit to get the test done, and they won't increase my limit. Pet insurance will cover 80% up to $1500, but they don't pay till later... AND... if this turns out to be a shunt due to genetics, it won't be covered at all. My God, how can such a little dog have so many problems? I know she doesn't mean it... it's not her fault. I just wish I knew what to do for her.

Say some prayers that I make the right decision here. Hmmm let's see... $807 available Care Credit... $800 test... if it goes $8 more... I'm screwed.

Gotta go... thanks for checking on us.
Love & Blessings