Sorry to say but Thursday night was a horrible night. Mike was up on and off almost all night panting and groaning. He stayed on the bed only about ten minutes and jumped down to try to find someplace else that would be more comfortable... he couldn't do it. Needless to say I had a hard time falling asleep too knowing he was in such discomfort, and when I did fall asleep for even a few minutes, I kept dreaming weird dreams and would wake up shortly after I closed my eyes. It was really a chore to get through anything yesterday. Thankfully though, Mike seemed much better during the day.

I don't remember if I've mentioned here (if I did please forgive me for being redundant) but lately with his bladder cramps he's been groaning a lot. He's no longer silent when he pushes as he's trying to relieve his empty bladder. I was chatting with Debs yesterday, and she asked if there has been much blood in his leakage. I told her that there hadn't been, so for that I was grateful. But, as if on que and knowing we talked about it... last night when I changed his diaper just before bed... there was blood.

We both had another restless night last night. His panting lasted about a half hour before he finally fell asleep, but then he woke up at 1:30 and started again. Again, it went on and off the rest of the night. I imagine he will be sleeping most of the day again today to try to catch up on some much needed rest. Oh how I miss my young Mike... running, playing, chasing the ball and bringing it back to me. The only joy he gets anymore is occasionally playing with his sister with her jumping all over him or playing tug with her with the Westie baby and occasional car rides. We've gone on rides, but since the car has been in the shop so much, I don't want to take a chance on it breaking down when he's with me, so I'm cautious as to how often and how far we go.

Speaking of the car... the stinkin' service light came on again last night. (oohh wish I had a mad face icon to put in here). I just got the fuel pump replaced and now this. I can't afford getting it fixed again. As it is, I've got post dated checks to the mechanic going into December. I have a little money put away and a small amount available on my credit card, but I have to keep it liquid in case I need it for Mike or Gidget. I'm beginning to doubt my decision as to getting a car. It does allow me a lot more freedom than I've had in the past two years without one, but can I keep up with repairs? Maybe I should have waited another four years until I could have saved up for a brand new one. Of course, I probably would have gone even more stir crazy before that would ever happen.

Oh my God.. I am so sorry to be complaining so much. There are so many out there who have it so much worse than I do. I know I'm blessed, and I'm grateful... more than grateful. I guess I just needed a place to vent a little. Please forgive me. Mike and I are going through stuff right now, but it's minimal in comparison to what some of the rest of you are going through. I think someone should just give me a good kick in the ass to straighten me out and make me stop feeling sorry for myself.

Ok.. enough rambling. I'm really sorry to complain. I know I could go back and delete everything I wrote, and I probably should, but like I said, I guess I just needed a place to vent.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day.

Love & Blessings